I had this idea come to mind tonight. My thought is on the evolution of friendship. It's interesting to reflect on friendships as they come and go, as they grow and dwindle, gain strength only to fall a part.
I've had some changes in my "friends" this last year. At times it's been hard. Very trying. Deeply hurtful. Other times I find myself relieved. Is that awful? Am I a bad person to be relieved?
Then I got to thinking about a particular friend of mine. This friend is one I met since going back to school. This friend has been my "saving grace" in the music department. This friend and I have a sibling-type of relationship.
So why am I thinking about them? Because I don't see this person much anymore. I don't get to talk with this person, laugh with this person, create music with this person, study with this person, discover musicality with this person. No, I rarely see them. And I won't lie, I'm sad. I'm really sad. I feel that my one real friend at school has disappeared. And I don't know if they mind..
I would never want to hold this friend back from growth, even if it was at the expense of our friendship - the evolution of our friendship. But at the same time I'm completely saddened. Does it have to come to an end? Is it over? Or will we continue to be friends?
I can't think about it too much. I'll end up bawling myself to sleep. (sigh)
I just miss my friend, is all.
Please don't read into this as if I'm saying Travis isn't satisfying to me in any way. I'm talking about a friend - Travis is much, much more than my friend. Travis is amazing. No, what I'm talking about is the evolution of friendship - not marriage. Friendship.
It's been a bit of a downer week for me. Sorry. :(
Alyssa's Writing Journal
3 weeks ago