I have been so emotional lately. I have felt extremely low, I have felt happy and hopeful, I have felt overwhelmed and tired, I have felt excited and energetic. It's been interesting. And it's freaking me out.
I have been doing a lot of thinking about my life. I have had so many blessings and opportunities. I had a job that I recently quit that was very beneficial to my growth. I have two parents who have supported me in all my musical desires. I have a husband who completely believes in me and would do anything to steer me clear of any unhappiness. I have a wonderful religion that offers hope, answers, and peace. I have siblings who have taught me many good things, who have stood by me when it was hard or potentially embarrassing (we're a very loyal family). I have had the marvelous opportunity to go back to school and gain my education.
So why the heck have I been feeling so "bleh" all the time?! I think I'm working through things and it's taken it's toll on me. I'm a firm believer that everyone has baggage. If it's not with family or friends, it with religion, and experience, or a choice one's made. I have baggage and I'm not ashamed. I have experience and knowledge because of this. There's nothing to fear but fear itself.
I am working through that baggage, essentially purging myself, and am determined to be conqueror. I will not let the hope for a better past cripple my future full of bright potential.
So I've been thinking about things. Things that matter. I think it's good that I'm nearing the end of my undergrad. While I have thoroughly enjoyed the growth and experiences I've had while there, I'm ready to progress and move forward. I'm ready to take on other things (this includes a graduate degree). I'm tired of fear keeping me from trying new things. I'm going to take things head on and TRY.
3 weeks ago