Six months ago today my life changed. Before January 3rd 2008 I wasn't exactly keen on the idea of starting a family in the near future. Travis and I had been (and still are to a SMALL degree) totally fine waiting another 3 to 5 years to have children...well then Mercydez came along and we experienced a change, an enormous change of heart.
Mercydez is the closest thing I have to a child at this point in my life. She is my identical twin sisters little miracle baby. She has over come the odds in many many ways and is still continuing to blow people away. She is the strongest little person I know. She is such an example to me. Mercydez is a huge part of my life.
Fortunately Travis and I live with Nic and Ash and Mercydez so we see a lot of each other. I get to wake up to the cutest girl in the world (after waking up to the cutest boy in the world) and cover her in kisses AND!!! I get to give her a good night kiss EVERY night too!!! What more could I ask for?!? It's a funny thing. So many people thought that our relationships with Nic and Ash would be jeopardized when we first moved in together. Everyone, and I mean EVERYONE was nervous. And only the opposite has taken place. I love and admire Ash more than ever before. My respect, admiration, and love for Nic has sky rocketed. There aren't many men like Nic in this world. I have come to love Nic like my own brother. In fact, the other day I was telling someone that Trav and I live with "my sister and brother" and Trav had to correct me and clarify my "brother" was really my brother-in-law. I love this little Haws family and would do anything for them. How grateful I am that I can say that and truly mean it.
My precious niece is 6 months old today. She is such a miracle. Such an Angel. Such a blessing. Her cry is beautiful (it REALLY is music to my ears), her big brown eyes are captivating, and her spirit is so strong. Every one comments on her spirit once they've been in her presence. She is truly from God. I need her in my life so much.
I was laying in bed last night thinking about how I wouldn't be with her on her 6 month birthday and I started to cry. I ended up crying myself to sleep (I know this because I woke up with puffy eyes and that only happens when I cry mysef to sleep). Like I said, I feel like she's partially mine (I hope that doesn't bother Nic and Ash - I say that all the time ;)) and with that intensity of feeling comes hurt when I'm not with her. My heart truly aches to hold her. To hear her cry. To change her cute li'l bum! To sing with her. Ahhh...I've gotta stop. I'm making myself cry again.
Mercydez, I love you. You have truly changed me. I say that a lot but that's because I'm shocked that one person - especially so small - could have such an effect on me. I hope your 6 month birthday is full of kisses, poopy diapers (a sign mommy and daddy are keeping you well fed!), and lots of snuggling (she loves to snuggle!). I'm not there physically but I'm truly there in EVERY other way.
Happy, happy birthday sweetie! I love you.
Alyssa's Writing Journal
3 weeks ago