I know I'm a few days behind.
That's intentional.
September 11th, 2001 was a day I can't tap into without feeling overwhelming sorrow.
So many people posted pictures and messages on facebook.
I read every one of them.
But I couldn't get myself to post anything, to like anything or to even leave a comment.
It's so much deeper than that for me.
I remember sitting in my English class that morning, completely oblivious
Then the television was turned on, the news reporter, the videos, the horrendous images.
I sat there in complete shock.
I couldn't move.
My eyes were glued.
I didn't know anyone in NYC.
But my heart broke as if every person on that island was a part of my family.
I couldn't stop feeling...crying for them.
Innocent people.
Destruction.
Dust.
Disturbing images.
How? How could this happen?
And why?
I remember leaving my English class, going to my choir class.
As I left the English classroom there was a girl who had no clue how devastating this really was.
She was mocking the people of Manhattan.
The news reporters were showing people crying.
This girl actually stood up and mocked those terrified, helpless people.
I remember feeling hatred towards her.
The hatred was deep.
It was a hatred I still feel towards her.
How could she mock?
How could she be so heartless?
I still remember her name.
I will never forget her.
And then there was my choir class.
My choir teacher had recently taught us a stunning arrangement of "The Star Spangled Banner".
We went into the hallway, at the most central point of the school.
We held our beautiful flag and sang.
We sang that powerful song over and over and over again.
Even when the bell rang to dismiss us from class we, as a choir, didn't move.
We just kept singing and singing.
"Oh, say can you see by the dawn's early light
What so proudly we hailed at the twilight's last gleaming?
Whose broad stripes and bright stars thru the perilous fight,
O'er the ramparts we watched were so gallantly streaming?
And the rocket's red glare, the bombs bursting in air,
Gave proof through the night that our flag was still there.
Oh, say does that star-spangled banner yet wave
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave?"
I went home that afternoon and sat in front of my television.
I couldn't do anything else.
I remember sitting at the dinner table after watching hours and hours of footage.
I wasn't hungry.
I was angry.
I sat at the table and cried.
Convulsed.
How many people were buried alive?
How many people jumped?
How many children lost a parent?
How many parents lost a spouse?
How many parents lost a child?
Key word: LOST
How could I help them?!?!?!
What did tomorrow offer?
More death?
More destruction?
More?!?!!
I felt America was in for an enormous attack.
I felt no one was safe, that we could be next.
Big cities were vulnerable.
Small cities were easy targets.
No matter where you were, you were next.
My family was next.
I was next.
Life as I knew it ended.
Sound dramatic?
Over the top?
Almost crazy?
That day,
that week,
that month,
that entire year
was full of sorrow.
Soul deep sorrow.
I love hearing about the heroes
I love hearing about people forgetting
where they came from,
what they've accomplished on paper,
income,
credentials,
lifestyles.
I love hearing all that was forgotten.
That people were remembered.
I love hearing about the common man and woman who couldn't stand by,
knowing they were safe but others weren't.
I love hearing how our country was united in one cause.
I love hearing about the goodness of others.
Not only does it inspire me to be a better person,
it inspires something deeper then that.
Something we all need a little more of.
What is that, you ask?
Hope.
"Oh! thus be it ever, when freemen shall stand
Between their loved home and the war's desolation!
Blest with victory and peace, may the heav'n rescued land
Praise the Power that hath made and preserved us a nation.
Then conquer we must, when our cause it is just,
And this be our motto: "In God is our trust."
And the star-spangled banner in triumph shall wave
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave!"
God Bless America and the many, many good people.
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