What an eventful few days we've had. Travis did an incredible job surprising me with many activities! We went and saw Aida at The Hale Center Theater Thursday night. That was an incredible show and the music was great. We also went to the Covey Center for the Arts and saw a show by the Utah Premiere Brass. It was very entertaining! The music was great and I thought it was even better that they applied their music to movies of past and present. They did a great job proving how much music influences movies, feelings, scenes, etc. We went up to Gardner Village (quickly becoming one of my new favorite places) and had lunch while enjoying a great show called "Witch-a-polooza". It was so entertaining and super cute. So, basically we have had the great opportunity to celebrate for three days and it has been marvelous. I couldn't pick a better person to spend so much time with. :) I am madly in love with Travis and am so happy because of him. He is incredible. He is so passionate and kind. He is gentle and thoughtful. He is unique and perfect for me. He truly is my best friend. I'm grateful for that. I love that we not only love each other, we like each other.
With all of this happiness there has been quite the trial. Our precious Mercydez is sick. She's really been struggling and we are just leaning on our faith. We know Heavenly Father is heavily involved with Mercydez and her life. She has been a gift to us. She has made us better. She has influenced me in such a great amount..I am crazy about her. My heart has grown a thousand times over. And it's all because of this precious, beautiful baby girl.
If it is her time to go - though it will be hard - I will be so happy for her. She lived an incredible life. She lived and testified of the beauty of the church, of eternal families, of life after death. She has taught me so much in such a short amount of time. My heart is physically breaking, I can feel it. It hurts so bad I can barely breathe. I look at her and just ache to take her pain and suffering away. I also ache for Nic and Ash. This has been so hard for them. It is a parents worst nightmare to lose a child. They have been so incredible. They are determined to allow her to leave this world surrounded by loved ones, being held and protected. They love her so much and she loves them.
The past twelve to twenty-four hours have been so hard and so sacred. I almost shudder thinking about sharing them so casually on my blog. I have felt the pure love of God through my niece. I have felt of her incredibly strong, mature, and PERFECT spirit through her struggles. And for that reason alone I ache. I hate that she has struggled so much. I hate that she has gone through hell - LITERALLY - numerous times and still fights to live. She has such strength.
I am sorry I can't go on and on about my wonderful anniversary. I had planned on posting an enormous love note (an appropriate one) on line...I just can't right now. My heart is being shattered every moment. My faith is what's allowing me to breathe. No matter when "my baby" leaves this world I know I will have an empty hole in my heart and in my spirit that will never be filled. AND THAT'S OKAY. I lean on my faith in God. My faith in eternal families. I know I will be with Mercydez again and when I see her again she will be able to dance and sing and play. I can't wait for that moment. I will fall to the ground with tears in my eyes and an overwhelming sense of love in my heart. That doesn't mean it will be easy though.
I love this precious Angel. She is my life. She is my soul. She is mine.
Please pray for us. Please pray that Heavenly Father's will be done. If it is time for her to pass please pray it will be done in a peaceful, loving environment with little or no suffering. If it is not her time to pass please pray she may recover in peace. We only want what is truly best for this incredible child, even if it's not what we want. Her suffering is our suffering. Her happiness is our happiness. Please remember Nic and Ashley as well. They need comfort and support at this time. No one knows what lies ahead for precious Mercydez. All we know is that we have faith that Heavenly Father is a part of her life, and for that we are so grateful. Because of our faith in God we know things will work out the way they are supposed to, on His timeline. It is ultimately Him who knows what is best for her. So, please pray for that. Pray for what's best for Mercydez.
God bless you and yours.
3 weeks ago