January 2013

January 2013
Our Little Family of Three

Monday, December 29, 2008

A bone to pick

I have to get this off my chest.

It's not my style to swear. I think it's ugly and it sounds very uneducated. The comment, "...tell that bastard to get a job" was recently made. I didn't say those words. Someone else did. And my thoughts are over flowing. Without sounding too irritated I am going to share some of my MANY thoughts on comments like this.

Travis and I believe we are capable of whatever we set our minds to. The world is at our finger tips. We acknowledge and are extremely grateful for this. Since Travis' dream is to be an artist we are doing all we can to make that dream a reality. What's wrong with that?! Why not TRY?

My eyes have been opened since Travis graduated. It seems there's a very clear line between supporting someone and believing in someone. Those who support will typically ask how things are going and as soon as we turn away they shake their heads, roll their eyes, and whisper about how hard it is and how few make it in the industry.....blah, blah, blah.

So what does it mean to believe in someone? To believe in someone (whether this be Travis or someone else) means to ask, help, compliment (genuinely), and to look at their potential as a person in whatever it is they are trying to accomplish. Hardship and time never come into the picture because anything worth something takes time and is typically hard. Sacrifice is required. Fear has to be faced.

Just because something takes a long time to achieve or gain doesn't mean it's impossible. I find it interesting....do you know why the economy is the way it is? It's because we're all about instant gratification. Can't afford the home?! We'll get you in it anyways...the house payment will only be 75% of your monthly income! Groceries?!? Who needs to eat!? Gas? Who needs cars? Oh! But you already have a car payment...so that will put your debt to income ratio at....UNAFFORDABLE?!?! NO PROBLEM! You can be in your home and still be driving your luxury car tomorrow!

No wonder people are losing everything. It's heart breaking...why save up for something when you can have it now?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It almost seems like people feel the same way about careers as they do homes, cars, and name brand CRAP (Yes! CRAP!)!

I'm sorry but my heart is thumping. I have a lot of energy behind the idea that "if you can't have it now you won't ever have it". That idea is as foolish and thoughtless as the comment referenced above.

For you people out there who simply "support" my husband and his dreams - BACK OFF. It's our lives. Just because you don't dare strive for your dreams - for fear of failure - doesn't mean you have to push your mentality on us. I don't mean to offend, truly. But if this post is creating negative feelings...maybe you're who I am talking about.

Please stop with the concerned looks, the point-blank-punch-in-the-face comments, and especially the "joking" comments. The phrase "just kidding" is over used and abused. Sarcasm is 99% genuine. It hurts. It really hurts. So, stop it. Think before you say crap like that. We believe in ourselves...what's wrong with that? If you don't feel our view on life is realistic or if you feel like we're "wasting time", keep it to yourself. Quite frankly, we don't want to hear it because we don't care.

Now with that said I really feel like I need to express gratitude for those who not only support us but BELIEVE in us. Thank you. Thank you for believing in an incredible mans dreams and his determination to make them a reality. Thank you for caring. Thank you for taking the time to express words of genuine encouragement. Let me ask you a question, how long do you hold onto a genuine compliment - especially when the compliment has to do with something so hard and significant in your life? I dare say, uplifting words go a long ways.

I'm sorry if I've offended. I'm tired of sitting and watching my husband smile these sort of comments off (and know deep down that it's slicing his heart into pieces). I'm tired of people thinking they have the liberty, the right, the....obligation to tell Travis C-R-A-P like this. I believe in him. He believes in himself. WHAT'S WRONG WITH THAT?! It is very degrading and thoughtless to say stuff like this...even if you're joking.

As for the person who made this comment...if you read this I still think highly of you. I know you meant it as a joke, truly. I know your an honest, good, caring person. For those wondering who said this, don't ask. I'm not going to tell you. It doesn't matter. All that matters is that we learn to believe in people and keep degrading comments to ourselves - whether they're said while laughing or not. If you're going to post a comment on this update I ask that you THINK before writing and posting. I am not trying to degrade a specific person (we've gotten many comments from many people that are similar to this). I am trying to put an end to inconsiderate, thoughtless, and VERY un-funny (I know that's not a word but I don't care) comments. So, please don't do that which I'm trying to put an end to. Just learn from it.

Uhg...I guess this is the straw that broke the camel's back.

Just think. Please.

Trav will most likely be unhappy, to say the least, about this post. Please out of respect don't ask him questions either. Again, it doesn't matter who, only what. Seriously. Don't ask.


Emil, Caroline and An Angel... said...

Thanks for your post...I'm SO SORRY about some people's insensitivity. TOO many people think they can say whatever they want...and in the process forget from whom they descend and WHO they are talking to. Unfortunately, it takes it's toll on both and the result is always painful. We love AND Believe in you both. Really we do! SERIOUSLY. So that's why I'm surprised, but not..if you get me, that you've had someone say this and other hurtful things to you and Travis. Sounds like it's making you stronger. I want to be more like that.. =)

Stacy said...

I think there is a huge pressure put on people these days to give up on dreams. I think rappers call them 'haters'. ha! Travis is an amazing artist. I have told you this before. I just stare and stare at his art. I know he will go far. It will be hard, but it will be so worth it. We get the same types of comments about Chance having to stay home with Corbin. Sort of a different type of situation. There is a lot of pressure on guys these days to be a 'provider'. People 'joke' about Chance not 'providing' because he is staying home with Corbin and going to start school. He is making our lives better, it will just take longer than we originally thought to do so. Very few people get discovered sitting on the couch eating potato chips. Good for Travis, sacrificing now, for great rewards later! Some people have a hard time understanding and accepting peoples dreams. Thank you, you have opened my eyes to a situation of my own. I know someone who I secretly think shouldn't be doing something because he isn't any good at it. But he loves doing it. I feel bad because who am I to judge. I now applaud him for continuing to try and get better. Wow, thanks.

Nic and Ashley Haws said...

Amen! I think people need to hear this! People are WAY too comfortable with their own opinions on how the world should be. Good for you for staying strong amidst pressure! Travis is amazing and I most definitely believe in him... which is why, when you guys are millionaires, I expect you to build me a really nice, big home... oh, and pay for maids and cooks and stuff. :)

Serena Kanig Benish said...

Langston Hughes wrote: "Hold fast to dreams, for if dreams die, Life is a broken-winged bird that cannot fly."

You are both young, why not pursue things as you want now? Your devotion to each other and your goals is admirable, the stuff books and movies are based on. Turn a deaf ear and a blind eye and carry on as you are.